Everything is Circumstantial
by meteor9
Summary: Two years after writing the first chapter, an author returns to try and make a believable Asuka/Shinji type story. Nobody really knows why.
1. Chapter 1

**Everything is Circumstantial**

**Chapter 1**

Busybodies

"You've got to be kidding me."

From the looks of the man, he was indeed quite serious, thrusting the undisclosed protrusion hidden under his coat at the pair. "I'm not playing games! Gimme all your money!" He waggled the object to punctuate the statement.

One of the victims, a timid looking young boy, stepped forward, slightly in front of his companion. He had his hands raised, palms out, so as not to startle their assailant. He was about to speak, but victim number two decided on a different approach, shoving the boy out of the way and storming towards the mugger. As one can expect, this was quite startling. The boy cringed, expecting the worst.

"Hey! Back off or I'll blow you away!"

That was a bad move. Before he could fire, back away, or even blink, he found her fist firmly jabbed into his throat, causing him to wheeze in surprise. Then she planted her size seven foot square in the mugger's groin, eliciting a whimper out of him. As he stood there in shock, the girl shoved him to the ground, kicked him onto his back, and pinned him down with her foot. As she did this his hands fell out of his pockets, revealing that he had never been armed. "Ugh" was about all he could muster.

"Schweinehund."

* * *

It was just another ordinary day for Tokyo 3. There were currently no enigmatic beasts threatening to level the city, and as a bonus it was Sunday, so classes weren't in session. Surprisingly, NERV had not scheduled any tests, training, meetings, chastisements, or any of that ilk for the day, leaving the pilots free to pursue their own interests for the time being. 

This was something a certain Misato Katsuragi knew to exploit.

She had planned her assault the night before, knowing that the best way to pull it off would be to attack in the early hours of the morning. One of them would most likely be up already, but, he'd be no problem anyway. It was, after all, Shinji. No, it was the other one she had to plan for. Asuka. She'd have to hit her early, and fast.

And so, breakfast arrived.

"Good morning you two!" Now entering phase one.

"Good morning Misato," chimed Shinji, putting the finishing touches on breakfast with a pleasant demeanor.

"Nnh...why'd you wake us up on our day off?"

Misato sat back in mock-thought. "Oh, you mean you guys didn't have anything planned? Whoopsie."

Asuka replied to this with just a grunt. Shinji, who had in fact woken up early anyway, merely shrugged his shoulders. "It's no big deal, really. You know what they say, early bird catches the worm, right?" He looked over to his red-headed housemate. "Right?"

"Leck mich am arsch."

"W-well," stammered the boy. "Um, breakfast is ready."

For fifteen minutes, the meal passed in relative silence. Shinji didn't really have much to say, Asuka looked about ready to do a face plant in her eggs, and Misato was busy waiting for the right moment to spring her trap. And then, the moment came. Asuka nearly took a dive, but snapped back to alertness.

Misato shot up. "Oh! I completely forgot!"

After coughing out the piece of toast that had lodged in his throat, Shinji asked, "Forgot what?"

"There's a staff meeting today! I gotta get ready!" Leaving her half-eaten breakfast at the table, she rushed towards the hallway. Suddenly, she stopped. "Oh, crap!"

Apparently working on a turn by turn system, Asuka responded next. "Jeez, are you _that_ hammered already? You're a terrible role model."

"No, Asuka, I'm not drunk. There's a whole bunch of errands I was supposed to run in town today." She looked back to see the girl's smirk change to a scowl. "What?"

"Oh no you don't! Don't you dare pawn off the responsibilities of your horrible planning on me!"

The older woman giggled. Entering phase two. "What? Of course not! I was just going to ask Shinji, actually. He won't need your help."

Human beings are complex. Rarely will anyone, no matter how predictable they may seem, act like a cardboard cutout. However, it's a pretty solid bet that most of the time they'll act in a foreseeable fashion. Misato felt a little bit cruel using such methods, especially knowing about the girl's past, but she had to do what she had to do.

"Well I should hope that idiot here can handle whatever it is that a slob like you could've managed."

"What? Hey!" replied idiot here, somewhat dejected.

_Damn, _thought Misato. _I can't believe that didn't work. That ALWAYS works with her. I'll have to go to plan B._

Phase two, version B. "Aw, you shouldn't put poor Shinji down like that. After all, he's going to be handling all your _intimate undergarments._" Shinji paled at this, an unfortunate casualty in the war against Asuka, but it didn't matter.

"Wait, why would he need to go into the city to do the laundry? Cheap as it is, the washer we have here is perfectly usable."

"Usable? Heh, not after last night."

"Oh, god, is that why the smoke alarm was going off? I thought you were just burning dinner." Then, the Second Child just shrugged. "Still, not my problem. Shinji here knows better than to mess with anything of mine. Doesn't he?"

He gulped, as he did in fact know better.

With plan B a total bust, Misato was forced to fall back on plan 'Bottom of the Barrel'. "Look, I'm just trying to save you from a day of boredom sitting around the house. Keeping active is good for the mind, and all. We need our pilots to be as sharp as tacks."

No response.

"I'll pay you."

"God, you're just gonna keep badgering me about it, aren't you? Fine, I'll help out the Third. But you'd better pay up afterwards."

Victorious, their guardian grinned. "Then it's settled! I'll go get the full list for you guys!" And with that, she disappeared around the corner.

Shinji had a very bad feeling about this.

* * *

Those were the events that led to the pair being on the train that day. Even if the mugger had been successful, he would've only made off with some socks and a few shirts. No matter, as he was apprehended by Section 2 agents almost as soon as Asuka had started kicking him in the head while he was down and the train had stopped. The pair had declined the offer of a ride home from one of the agents, and continued into town to take care of business. First up was the laundromat. 

After an hour, and one full load, Shinji spoke. "Say, Asuka? How'd you know that guy wasn't armed?"

"I didn't." She didn't so much as pause from loading the dryer.

"Oh," said Shinji. Then he stopped. Then reality hit him, hard. "Wait a minute! He could've had a gun and you charged him anyway?"

"Yeah, what about it? The guy was an amateur. And he wasn't armed, so what's the big deal?"

"He could've killed you!"

She stared back at him blankly. "Shinji, did you already forget what we do for a living?"

"I know that. But, they say that the Eva is the safest place to be in times of emergency. We're well protected in them. This is a completely different story!"

She slammed the door of the dryer shut at this. "Oh, so _now_ you've got balls, huh? Before you were just going to let him take whatever he wanted and walk all over both of us!"

"Wha? That's not what I was-"

"You were what? Don't you dare say that you were trying to protect _me!_ I'm not some helpless little child like you!"

"I didn't say that-"

"I made a choice and I went with it. Don't question me."

The two children ignored the startled looks of the other patrons around them, and stood in silence for a moment.

"Asuka, I'm sorry..."

"Don't start with that again, dummkopf, I can't-"

In a odd move for the boy, he grabbed his companion by the shoulders and cut her off. "Let me finish. You're right, I shouldn't question you. But, that was still too risky."

Asuka relaxed a little bit. "Oh, man, don't tell me you were actually worried, were you?"

"No offense, but...yeah, a little," he said, letting go of the girl.

"How can I not take offense to that," she growled. "To think, the wonderful Asuka Langley Sohryu, incapable of handling common street trash?"

Shinji cringed at the inevitable berating he figured he'd receive right about now. Yet, it didn't come.

"Aw, and you were getting so good at being assertive, too." She snickered. "Oh well, back to being pathetic for now, I suppose."

The Third Child heaved a sigh of relief, having narrowly dodged a bullet. Still, he wasn't exactly too keen on being referred to as 'pathetic.' He let it go, though, as it was a much safer idea than arguing it.

"Well, maybe not pathetic. I'll just say it's 'typical.' You're certainly a lot less irritating than you used to be."

"Gee, thanks," he muttered. Small victories, he supposed. After a few minutes, he glanced over at the clock. "Hmm...we've got an hour and a half to kill before the clothes are done." When he didn't get a response, he took a deep, shaky breath before continuing. "Would you, uh, like to go see a movie? Ah, you know, to pass the time?"

"Huh, that's actually a good idea. Let's get out of this dump."

Shinji hadn't been killed. It took him a bit to fully process this momentous occasion, but when he finally did he struggled not to grin like an idiot. "Alright," he said after some time. "There's a theater right up the road."

The two pilots inserted the proper amount of coins into their respective machines, started them on their cycles, and left the building.

_He finally grew a pair, _the German girl thought. _It's about time!_

* * *

In a bout of surprisingly good timing, the pair of teenagers arrived just five minutes before a showing, and of a new movie neither of them had heard of. It was especially lucky considering how few films were being made in an age where a majority of the population was no longer among the living, and as such being able to find a movie that neither pilot had seen yet was quite a blessing. 

In some ways, at least.

"'Half a Heart.' Sounds like a complete failure. There'll be fainting, dances, they'll break up, but then make up in the rain. There, we just saved an hour's pay," stated Asuka, who then turned to leave the theater.

Shinji tried to stop her before she could get too far. "The ticket girl says it's a psychological drama, not a romance movie."

"Oh, fine," she muttered, coming back to him. "But it had better be good."

He would've mentioned that she had willingly agreed to see a film with him already, but, the boy was only capable of staring death in the face so many times per day. So, he politely requested two tickets, gave one to his compatriot, and sheepishly followed her into Cinema 12.

_

* * *

Rain was falling in through the open window. There was no glass, the window merely a hole in the stone wall, not unlike what one would find in a medieval castle. The two occupants of the small bedroom weren't bothered by this, however. One was a demure girl, no older than thirteen. She was kneeling on an ordinary looking bed, with not so much as a colorful pillowcase to offset its dull appearance. The other, a tomboy if there ever was one, also of the same age. She sat in an old, rickety chair facing the other girl. _

_The girl on the bed tilted her head back, contemplating on what the other girl had asked. "Me? Well, my mother did everything she could to get me into the academy. It's...kinda sad, actually."_

_The way she worded this clearly bothered the other girl. "Why do you say that?"_

"_Well...she died a week after I got here. She went through all that trouble, and she doesn't even get to see if it was worth it."_

Shinji did his best to ignore the gagging motions that Asuka was making. _Sure, it's sappy so far, but surely she could be more patient with it? It's only been ten minutes, _he thought.

"_All I have now is this doll," she whispered meekly, clutching a rag doll whose colors had long been washed out. "My mother had the headmistress give it to me just before she died."_

She stopped mocking the film at that, which Shinji noticed, but chalked it up to coincidence. He wasn't about to argue anyway, since she did stop almost right after he'd thought about it. However, it was a wasted effort. The film droned on for another hour, failing to deliver neither the promised dramatic nor psychological factors. Shinji was really regretting having actually given money to see this crap.

Soon, the girl in the movie was brought before the headmistress by the man who ran the dorm she lived in. Shinji hoped that _something_ remotely interesting would happen at this point, as the cinematography seemed to imply it.

_She slammed a newspaper down onto the desk before her. "Is it true, what they say?"_

_The older woman didn't even spare so much as a glance the article in question. "What are you talking about, child?"_

_Furious, she pointed at the man behind her. "He told me everything! How you deal in underhanded methods? Tell me you didn't do anything to my mother before she died in that accident!" _

"Oh, your mother. She wanted to help you so badly. But, she could only give me half of the tuition. Since she failed to uphold her part of the deal, I contractually became your owner."

_The way she said it...it was so calm, so matter-of-fact. It was almost nauseating. The girl tried to keep her fluttering stomach in order, as she still wasn't sure what was happening here. "W-what?"_

_The headmistress adopted a look of false pity. "She was so grief-stricken. A few days later I'd heard that she killed herself out of shame. Jumped off the balcony, the poor woman."_

Then, there was a series of still images, presumably flashbacks, as the music rose to a crescendo. And then, it all just faded out and the girld was back in her room.

Shinji blinked. _That was it? _The delivery was horrible. And the writing was so stilted. He should've just followed Asuka's advice from the beginning and walked right out of there before buying the tickets. When he turned to tell her this, though, he was surprised to find her bolting towards the exit in a blind rush. "Ah," was all he could stammer by the time she was gone. Something told him that this wasn't just her finally giving up on this atrocity of a film, though. _She would've flung at least one insult at it, right? _With that in mind, he willed himself to action, got out of his seat, and chased after her, making it to the double doors of the theater before they finished swinging back in.

Out in the lobby, he caught a glimpse of red hair disappearing around a corner, pretty much eliminating all doubt as to where his 'date' had gone. He rand to the corner in time to see another swinging door on it's way to closing. With an astonishing display of backbone he followed her in, completely oblivious to the fact that he just stepped into the ladies washroom. "Asuka? What's wrong?"

"Nothing! Now get out!"

"I can't believe that was just no-oh, oh crap this is the girls bathroom!" He promptly jumped back into the hallway before he faced any retribution. When Asuka didn't follow him out to deliver it, he took a few breaths to regain his composure, and then knocked on the door. "There's no way that was 'nothing,' Asuka."

"Ah, just shut up already. It. Was. Nothing. You don't know what you're talking about."

_Great, I'm talking to a door. _"Oh." _Wait, something I wouldn't know about? Ah, heh, Asuka's becoming a woman?_ "Oh, wait a minute, is it your-"

"Finish that sentence and I will do things to you that would make Lovecraft cringe. No, that's NOT it."

"Oh...alright." Not knowing what else to do, Shinji just slumped down against the wall next to the bathroom door.

On the other side of the door, Asuka stood staring at the towel dispenser as if she were trying to make it cower, though, it'd be more appropriate to say that she was staring _through_ it.

"That idiot..."

Why, out of all the movies in the world, did he have to pick THAT one? It wasn't close to being an exact replica by a long shot, but, it was just hitting too close to home for her. And, there was that fucking doll. Watching that girl cling to the damn thing like it was her actual mother...

Disgusting.

With a yell she kicked the stall next to her as hard as she could, leaving a sizable dent in the metal and a noticeable throbbing in her toes. "Fuck..."

"Asuka? What was that noise?" asked a muffled voice.

She didn't care, though. Ignoring him, she leaned over the sink and stared hard into the slightly tarnished mirror. _Just forget about it. Move on and FORGET ABOUT IT. As far as you're concerned the past never happened._

That doll.

_Forget about it._

That doll.

_Forget about it!_

That doll.

_No! Forget..._

That doll. That rag doll. Her mother's doll. Her little Asuka. _Her liebchen._

_I..can't...I don't want to remember that. I don't want to remember that. I want to forget it!_

"I want to forget that!" With a resounding crash, she found herself surrounded by shards of glass, filling the sink and littering the ground. The faucet, like most public faucets, never fully turned off, and a small trickle of water pattered down onto the remains of the mirror, washing off with a slight red tint.

"Asuka? I'm coming in again if you don't answer me, alright?"

Asuka began to pull out as many of the glass slivers as she could find in her still-tightened fist. "Dammit, dammit, dammit," she muttered.

"I'm serious! I'll...I'll really come in there!"

It stung, but she kept plucking away. No sense in getting infected, and god knows what kinds of bacteria and germs people could've left on that mirror. She could worry about the bleeding later. It wasn't like it was anything bad, anyway. Some peroxide and a bandage and that'd be the end of it.

Somewhat shockingly, Shinji finally came through on his word. Having gotten no response, he cautiously poked his head in through the door. "Ah..." Seeing the mess, and a smear of something on the wall where a mirror had apparently been, the rest of him quickly entered as well. "Asuka, what happened? Are you alright?" He took another look at the spot on the wall. "Is that blood?"

Asuka continued to ignore him, hunting down the few remaining fragments of mirror embedded in her knuckles. _Why did I do that? So...stupid. _"Dammit."

"Hey, are you listening to me?"

"There, that's all of it." She flexed her hand a few times, and gave it another look. It was stained with blood, so she couldn't be entirely sure that she had actually gotten all of it, but it felt like it was all gone.

She didn't notice that Shinji had turned the faucet on until he had grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand into the surprisingly warm flow. And just as soon as she had gotten used to it, he pulled her hand back out and inspected it. "I-uh, I think you did get it all." Realizing exactly what he was doing, he hurriedly let go of her arm and backed off a bit. "S-sorry."

"Shinji..."

"What is it, Asuka?"

"We still have to go pick up the laundry."

She wasn't angry like he had anticipated. In fact, he wasn't exactly sure if she was expressing any emotion at all in that. "Don't worry about that, I'll pick it up later. We have to get home and get this cleaned out properly." He didn't get a response. "Come on, let's go."

* * *

Despite what had happened earlier, the two teenagers picked another empty train car for the trip home. The route wasn't a particularly scenic one, but it's not like that mattered to either occupant of the car. Asuka's hand was bound in paper towels, which her hand had long since started to bleed through. It was a superficial wound, looking much worse than it really was, but it was still unnerving. However, it was the girl's behavior that had been bothering Shinji more. "Hey, Asuka...are you going to tell me what happened?" 

"No."

He sighed. She wasn't going to talk. He might as well just accept that fact and give up. "Fine, then. Whatever it is, though, I'm sorry."

"Don't," she mumbled.

"I should've picked a different movie, and, ah, I shouldn't have gone into the bathroom like that, and-"

"Don't start with this!" she shouted, shoving him out of his seat. She got up and stood over his fallen form. "Don't you apologize for that!"

Shinji shakily stood back up. "What the hell was that for?"

"For once, you didn't run away. Don't fuck it up now and think it was a mistake!" She then turned and returned to her seat, watching the bloody splotch on the towel get a little larger as she clenched her fists.

Not knowing what else to do, Shinji went and sat down next to her again. "Alright, then. But, won't you tell my why you did this?" he asked, motioning to her hand.

"I can't. That's all there is to it. It's nothing you can do anything about. I just can't tell you."

"Alright..."

There was a period of silence. And then, out of the blue, she noticeably brightened up. "Hey, Shinji? I'm gonna do something right now. Something that if you tell anyone about, I'll kill you," she said with a smile.

Shinji, expecting the worst, gulped. "Ah...er...alright," he choked out, obviously nervous.

"Oh, calm down," she said, laying her head against his shoulder. "I'm tired, so I'm going to sleep. And it won't work right if you're all jittery."

Shinji fought with all his might to stop from having a minor heart attack right there, if only because it'd piss her off. Of course, he couldn't help but feel a bit giddy, too. Hell, there really was no telling what was going through his head, then. He certainly wasn't certain, only that it felt like a rush. Still, he continued to try and calm himself down for what felt like an eternity.

He was about to question if she was comfortable, but, when he looked over at her she was already asleep. And, well, maybe his first thought shouldn't have been _So much easier to deal with this way,_ but, he tried to make up for it by putting his arm around her for support, a move which she didn't seem to protest. And so they sat for the rest of the ride home, Asuka snuggled against Shinji, Shinji on the verge of having a spasm.

It was just another ordinary day for Tokyo-3.

_

* * *

Note: _

I'm giving Evangelion writing another go. My chapters are shorter than most, and usually rely more on dialogue than on description, which is probably a shortcoming instead of a style, but, no matter. This will be one of the few notes, if not the only one.

I'm in over my head, but I'm having fun with it this time. Wish me luck, but rip me a new one if I need it, which I'm sure I will. Either way, enjoy yourselves with this. With luck it'll only get bigger and better. As a warning, though, there will be WAFF. I know that Evangelion really, really doesn't need WAFF, but...eh, would I be hurting anyone? Nope.

(In order of appearance, my source on the German tongue tells me that Asuka had said "Pig dog," "Kiss my ass", and "idiot" during the making of the first half of this fanfic. Big thanks to the ever wonderful Black Waltz 0 on the language assist!)


	2. Chapter 2

**Everything is Circumstantial**

**Chapter 2**

Nonsense

An ordinary day in Tokyo-3 is a relative thing. An ordinary day in most large and important cities involves hustle, bustle, high-powered business transactions, low-life pocket picking, car wrecks, school plays, soccer games, insider trading, and anything in between. In Tokyo-3, 'ordinary' routinely involves the near extinction of mankind, the psychological destruction of half the population, and property damage costing upwards of half of the prefecture's entire financial budget, putting a serious strain on the post-Impact economy of the devastated nation.

As such, saying that today was just an ordinary day without any of these things happening is a bit of a stretch. One could really say that, while it was a boring day, it was far from ordinary. And yet, it wasn't extraordinary. It was just different.

For one, a girl who's very existence seemed to hinge upon her being the best at everything she does, and as such led to constant displays of aggressive behavior, had just spent a full train ride asleep in the arms of a fellow pilot that was constantly threatening to overshadow her, while at the same time was prone to running away and apologizing for everything under the sun, both of which things she hated with a deep, deep passion.

Secondly, a boy who feared any and all human contact and had no knowledge of what to do in any situation involving said contact had just spent a half hour holding a girl who, while undoubtedly attractive, scared the hell out of him, verbally assaulted him on a regular basis, and possessed an attitude that constantly drove him insane.

There was definitely nothing ordinary about this scenario, and one Shinji Ikari knew it.

Earlier he had left the apartment after his red-haired companion drifted off to sleep on the living room couch while they were watching television. He did, after all, have a large list of errands to take care of, and only half a day to do it. A small, nagging portion of himself didn't want him to go, but, he knew these things needed to be done. So he had quietly slipped out the door into the afternoon sunlight, and headed back to the train station.

Previously he had forgotten to bring his music player, the S-DAT, which probably would've made the first trip a bit less boring, giving exception, of course, to their attempted mugging. This time he made sure to bring it, which was a lucky break, as it seemed that he had caught the midday lunch rush, and it was no small miracle that he'd managed to find a single open seat in any car. He hoped that it would clear up by the time he needed to go home; as it was, he could barely fit himself in the train, let alone a full load of laundry and various groceries.

All these people were making him nervous. And being who he was, it was no small surprise that some of the more knowledgeable passengers seemed anxious around him, as well. It just wasn't a situation he wanted to deal with, so he clicked on the tape that was almost a trademark and let it overpower the rest of the world for the next half hour.

The laundromat was just as empty as it had been earlier. After the crowd on the trains, Shinji had figured the rest of the city would be just as bad. _I guess, it kinda seems like they're 'keeping holy the sabbath.' That's probably a smart thing; "God's in His heaven" after all._ Making light of NERV's motto in such a way was a bit unnerving to the young man, and he immediately cut off his train of thought. Once the angels were gone, he'd never have to think about that place again; at least, so he hoped. _I just need to do what I have to do, and that's that. _

Actually, it was hard to stop thinking of that place, his father's legacy, as his entire life seemed to revolve around it. He pilots their Eva. He lives with his commander and one of his co-pilots. Hell, the very city in which he dwells is nothing more than facade for what Tokyo-3 really was, a NERV fortress. He ate, drank, and slept NERV, he felt, and while he hated this...

...it felt like the first definite mark he'd made on existence. His earlier life, which was starting to feel more and more like a _previous_ life, rarely entered his mind. Not even the people he had lived with for almost his whole life ever seemed to cross his thoughts. _I'm an ungrateful bastard, I guess._

Still, it was true. Who was he before NERV? He was nothing. And, after the angels, he would be nothing again, wouldn't he? It was possible, assuming he even lived that long. These thoughts disturbed him. Living for NERV, whether it was proof of existence or not; wouldn't that be no better than living only for Hell? When the only proof of your existence is your suffering?

In that light, going back to nothing seemed more and more like a perfect solution every day. You can't get hurt if you're not living. But, there really were too many people depending on him, he supposed, so that was pretty much out of the question. He deposited the dried clothing, which had cooled over an hour earlier, into a duffel bag and left.

It occurred to him then that it was very odd for the closest laundromat to Misato's apartment to be located over a half hour away. Granted, he never would've noticed this had their own washing machine been functional, but, they lived in a rather apartment-heavy district, so it would make perfect sense for there to be at least a few within walking distance. And the day would've cost him a lot less in the long run.

But, that was another problem in itself, wasn't it? In an awkward and, to him, honestly surprising attempt to ask Asuka out, thinly veiled as an excuse to kill time, he felt he had royally messed something up. _A psychological drama? What the hell was I thinking? Our lives are already messed up enough as it is._ He paused in his musing for a moment to grab a hand basket in the grocery store lobby.

The movie, though. The boy wondered what had caused her to run out of it the way she had. Especially considering how incredibly rare it was to see her expressing any serious emotion, so much so that she only seemed to let it out when she was asleep. At least, as far as he knew anyway. _Maybe she talks about this kind of stuff with Mr. Kaji? She does love his company. _Then again, he also figured Kaji wouldn't have picked that damn movie, either. Still, what was it? He couldn't remember what had been happening on-screen at that point, and since she wouldn't talk about it, it looked like he'd never know.

And then, what did he do after that? Run into the girl's bathroom. Just remembering that threatened to turn him as red as the tomatoes he was inspecting. Yet, he regretted jumping back out, too. _At least then, maybe she would've hit me instead of that mirror, or something._ It really had been a light injury at worst, almost to a mind-boggling extent considering how it looked, but, it had to have hurt. And yet she just looked at it almost vacantly.

_Ah, nothing about this makes any sense to me. Why did all this happen? And then why would she first throw me around, and then lean up against me? _

_Man...I screwed up._

His thought process really didn't improve much on his way home. By the time he hit the train station again, he was about ready to just grab a ticket to Tokyo-2 and get the hell out of there. However, it did manage to distract him from how overburdened he was. And besides, that plan didn't really work out the previous times, either. And with Section-2's constant monitoring, despite the fallacy that had occurred earlier, he wouldn't get far even if he did muster the courage. Sure, his father would give him the usual options, but since that usually involved some form of reverse psychology in addition to parental neglect, Shinji always found himself right back inside Unit 01.

In a way, it really was just as pointless as his old life. Taking the easy way out never helped, but neither did persevering.

With that highly motivational thought in mind, he dropped the groceries on the table, slumped the duffel bag up against the bathroom door, and then wearily collapsed onto his bed, S-DAT running repeat.

* * *

She woke up, greeted by a stinging pain that she didn't quite comprehend the existence of, but then realized she was laying on her bandaged hand and quickly moved it out from underneath her. With that out of the way, she began to recall why she was out on the couch instead of in her bed. She took in her surroundings noting that it was still afternoon, and the apartment was as still as a morgue. She was alone, which, as she remembered, wasn't how it was earlier. "Oh, man, that idiot actually left me here and tried to go finish everything up by himself," she muttered, mostly to herself.

Today had been odd, to say the least. Everything had just...happened. And despite how naturally it all occurred, it didn't feel right at all. Nothing about today fit how she thought she should have been. Her reaction at the movie. _That wasn't like me. _What happened on the train. _That wasn't ME!_

..._was it? _No, that couldn't be it. She was the genius, prodigal daughter. The best Evangelion pilot in the world. She didn't need anyone, she would be fine all on her own. There was no reason why that movie should have bothered her. And she didn't need that spineless boy at all.

It was all _his_ fault. It had to be. He's the one who insisted that she see that damn movie. He's the one who chased her into the bathroom. He's the one that made her look like a weak little girl. And he's the one who completely ignored her as he haphazardly tossed his belongings into the kitchen and stumbled to his room.

Someone needed to teach him a lesson. And so she decided that she would just have to be that person.

Clenching her fists, which she immediately regretted when her injured hand gave off a 'twang' of pain, she got up from her position on the rather comfortable couch and marched across the living room. It was getting close to nightfall, and a dreary lack of color was starting to filter into the apartment. It wasn't dark, but it certainly wasn't bright and colorful, either. The closer she got to Shinji's bedroom, the darker it got. It was amusingly metaphorical, but neither of the apartment's occupants were in the mood for a laugh.

Reaching his door, she briefly considered knocking, but decided if that she never bothered with that before, there's really no reason at all why she should start _now._ She slammed the door aside with as little tact as she could muster. Light flowed into the room; or, rather, slightly less darkness flowed in. Nevertheless, Shinji appeared to be unaffected, curled halfway into the fetal position and thumbing his S-DAT player.

She wasn't entirely sure what she was going to do, she realized. Admittedly, beating him senseless would've been amusing, but she wasn't that much of a monster, even she knew that. She mulled things over for a bit, which was made easier by Shinji's complete lack of reaction.

"Idiot."

If she was expecting that to accomplish something, she would've been disappointed. It didn't appear to faze her much. She strode into the room until she seemed to tower over Shinji's bed and thus Shinji as well.

"Listen to me when I'm talking to you," she muttered, before kicking him roughly and adding in another call of "Idiot!"

It was hard for him to block that out. He probably would've taken out his earplugs if they hadn't been knocked out of his head in the process. "What the hell?"

"You're a spineless, pathetic, sniveling little coward. Don't you ever forget that." And then, as abruptly as she came, she left.

Shinji had sat up by then, sore in the back and mostly confused. After a moment, though, he sighed in defeat. "Yeah, just as I thought. I screwed up."

Misato hadn't expected that there'd actually _be_ a meeting that day. Kaji had called her late last night, asking her to come see him that morning for reasons she still didn't know, but almost as soon as she'd left to do so, a call came through from the Geofront demanding her presence, and she found herself stuck there for the entirety of the day. It was only after sundown that they allowed her to leave, and by then all her calls to the stubbly jackass went unanswered.

She wasn't particularly happy with NERV or Kaji at the moment, having lost a rare day off on account of both of them.

She had to fumble with her keys for a bit before getting into her apartment, a small sign of her frustration. She'd mainly given her charges that list of errands to keep them busy, since she figured she could just pick up the slack later, but given how long her day had been, she dreaded having to go back out if everything wasn't done.

Her condition brightened a bit as she entered the kitchen, noticing the full bags of groceries. "Oh honeys, I'm home!" she called out, somewhat humorously, somewhat dryly. Nobody answered, but she was used to that by now. Either they weren't home, or they'd just locked themselves into their rooms like always.

On that note, she peeked into the hallway and found a bag full of clean laundry resting against the bathroom door. She'd forgotten what else she'd asked them to do, but Misato was happy that the big stuff was done, figuring that anything else probably wasn't worth worrying about.

Relieved, she retreated to the kitchen to make herself a well-earned meal. She settled on microwavable crap, because sweating over a 'well-earned meal' just didn't make any sense. She also pulled a well-earned Yebisu from out of the fridge and sat down for a well-earned drink while she waited for her well-earned processed meat-substitute to finish being bombarded with well-earned radiation.

She decided that repeating "well-earned" in her head constantly was getting annoying.

The microwave went 'ping' in it's usual discordant manner, and Misato went to retrieve her dinner. Tossing the box and wrapping into the trash, she caught a glimpse of two ticket stubs inside. Having herself not seen a movie in almost six months, she figured her two pilots must be getting along better than she thought. She'd have to give them hell about that tomorrow; it was just too much fun not too. It was like having little siblings to pick on.

Besides, if they got to have little dates, and she got to act like a big sister, it was all the better anyway. Something had to balance out the hell of their lives, or else, who knows, maybe they'd snap? With that, she made quick work of her dinner and accompanying beverage, left some food out for her little penguin friend, and retired to her own bedroom, dreading yet another day at NERV.

If he was a spineless little coward, he wouldn't be standing here right now, right? It was midnight, he was staring at Asuka's door, and he was mere inches away from knocking. Surely that meant _something._

Shinji stood stock still for several moments before finally willing his knuckles into action.

_Knock-knock-knock._

There was no answer. He pressed his ear up against the door to see if he could somehow hear better through the wood. He sat like this for just slightly past 'too long.'

_Knock-knock-knock._

"What?" snapped the door. Shinji shrank away slightly. He hoped that he wouldn't have to talk to another door today, but at the same time, it would be so much less stressful than talking to the person behind it.

"...I'm not a coward," he said.

She didn't answer.

"I'm not a coward," he repeated, with slightly more vigor.

"Just shut up", she muttered. There was some rustling behind the door, but when it never opened, Shinji figured she must've just gone back to sleep.

He stood there for a while more, wondering what brought him out here in the first place. He _was_ a coward, wasn't he? Then why stand here and deny it? Was he ashamed of it? He had to admit, receiving any kind words from her was always an impressive thing, and for her to have actually commented on him having a spine for once, earlier that day, seemed like something to be proud of.

So, was it pride then that had him out here, decrying her insults? Probably, but, he couldn't be sure. His thoughts were always too cyclical, too cynical to really determine much of anything. He returned to his bed, collapsed into it like he had done dozens of times before, and let his spiraling thoughts carry him away.

When morning came, he wasn't even sure if he'd slept.

* * *

**AN:** Two years. There's no reason why such a tiny and relatively progression-less chapter should have taken two years to write.

I'll admit it: I stopped writing. When I realized I could draw somewhat halfway decently, I just let writing fall by the wayside. Besides, in my group of friends we already had numerous excellent authors, what did it matter if I, the mediocre one, suddenly stopped? And to be honest, that still doesn't bother me. But I do miss writing at times, and so, here we are.

And I'll admit something else: I stopped reading fanfic a while back, as well as writing it. The only stories I've read since are either stories that I was already watching, or stories written by my wife. So, I think it was The 2nd Try finishing up over the last week that made me start thinking again. So here I am. I want to make these two pilots fall in love for some reason. But by god, I'm not gonna let it happen without truly _being_ Evangelion. There's no sunshine and daisies. Then again, it's not all apocalypse and doom and gloom, either (Frankly, Shinji rejecting Instrumentality at the end of Evangelion is painfully, obviously supposed to show that we can all overcome our issues and we can all go on living). I feel that I at least understand Evangelion enough now to try and write again without basing my opinions and interperetations on everyone else's established schools of thought on the subject.

...er, with that, please tell me what sucks and what needs fixings, or, god willing, if I actually did something _right_. I crave constructive criticism, and I'm a grown man; I know the difference between "This sucks, and here's why, I hope you can improve on this" and "LOL I H8T YOU YOU SUCK,"

so please don't hold back.

Hell, I have no deluded fanbase to sic on you, anyway! Woo!


End file.
